“I stand upon my desk to remind myself that we must constantly look at things in a different way.”
-John Keating (Robin Williams)
Dead Poets Society
“I stand upon my desk to remind myself that we must constantly look at things in a different way.”
-John Keating (Robin Williams)
Dead Poets Society
What we need! 
Disrupted Physician 
Thanks, Michael. I needed this. I have been blogging for ten years now. Looking back, I know so much has changed in those ten years. After a few years of blogging, I began to get bolder, and almost immediately, I lost friends over it. I never understood why I was being called a “liar” because I tend to be ruthlessly honest. On one hand, every writer has a persona, like a stage presence, as does every artist, when you think of it. After all these years, I also realize that meticulous honesty, and daring to tell the truth will get you in trouble among those who either propagate lies or those who blindly believe those lies. This was of course what happened to me, that in fact nearly killed me. I believe you linked to a blog that mentioned false beliefs, and how those who cling to false beliefs will cling to them more strongly when challenged, but might waver if approached in a more subtle manner. Do we preach only to the choir, or do we go outside that realm, risking bullying, threats, and illegal imprisonment? Words are so powerful that we that speak the truth are called “menaces to society.” In light of how crooked our world has become, let’s keep on being menaces. I’m in if you are.
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Thanks Julie. The biggest obstacle to exposing what we speak of is the inability to get those around us to admit the problem even exists. To paraphrase Charles Baudelaire -the greatest trick the devil ever played was convincing the world that he did not exist. That is what they have done here. The system has removed the actors from all accountability including answerability, justification for actions and the ability to be punished when answerability reveals misconduct. The regulatory and administrative aspects of the medial profession have blinded themselves to this. Not only can they not do anything they have taken an ostrich head in the sand blinkered apathy talk to the hand approach and do not want to do anything. We need voices, activists, a critical-mass, a tipping point.
Moreover these people have put obstacles in place to reveal the truth on boards, ethics committees, etc. who have the ability to deflect, disarm, delegitimize and dismiss the truth. The buck stops there and these people can actually call what is white black and what is black white and get away with it. No more. These people need to be targeted, named and shamed.
I want to form an advocacy group that questions these so called authorities and acts as an agent of change for revolt, revolution and reconstruction. I think Linkedin would be the best platform for this group. You in?
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Micheal, I assume you are familiar with Mad In America? This is one amazing online magazine that I can say changed my life in a good way. I managed to get a couple of articles published in it, and am planning more. Also, another person you might be interested in is Pamela Wible, MD, who speaks out on physician suicide. My initial reaction was, “Oh dear, those unfortunate rich doctors, maybe their problem is too much money.” But then, I realized this wasn’t the case. I had to look back on my own life, read between the lines, and see what was behind my psychiatrist’s bizarre behavior. For a while, things were cool, and that had nothing to do with what drugs I was taking. In other words, I am positive that getting off drugs (antipsychotics and others) didn’t change the basic facts nor made me paranoid. What happened, happened, and I am not prone to paranoia anyway. She used to be nice and sweet, then, suddenly, there was this shift. I’d say the first time she acted bizarrely was in 2008. She became threatening to me, no longer an ally but someone to be feared. Twice since then she lost control totally, yelling and screaming at me in a venomous fashion. Other times, what she was saying simply made no sense. Looking back, I see a pattern. I think MGH was threatening her, or bullying her somehow. Since reading your blog and Pamela’s, I’ve been able to forgive her because I believe someone in administration put her up to what she ended up doing. I wish she’d told me more directly, and I’d love to speak to this administrative group that is doing all this to doctors. It resulted, for me, in horrific abuse while I was hospitalized that I am trying to get a grip on. At the time that I fired her on July 10, 2013, she and MGH were parting ways. Her words, “Too much paperwork.” My late boyfriend’s doctor literally disappeared after saying those exact same words in 1996. When it came to my own care, there was so much coverup and deceit on the part of most of my doctors. I guess I will never understand why it all happened. As you know, I had to leave the country or give up Freedom of Speech.
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I attempted to contact multiple people at Mad in America—absolute silence. Not one reply-ML
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Well, then, I have other ways to draw people’s attention at MIA. I have some time today, so I will see how I can do this using links. Your blog has opened my eyes to the possibility that some of the personnel, such as a few of the doctors and by all means many of the nurses who abused me while I was inpatient at MGH and also while inpatient at Mount Auburn (these were on medical floors where I was being treated for anorexia) were not acting on their own initiative, but because they were terrified to stand up against the corruption within the higher echelons of the institutions. I know my outpatient shrink was getting pressure from administration at MGH to force medicate me. Not that “I was only following orders” is an excuse for abuse, but if a doctor or nurse is literally being bullied, I can see how that would seriously affect their judgment, and affect how they treat patients. I am at a loss as to how to heal from the trauma and it’s especially tough when so much of me feels the need to target either individuals or just bad medicine as the source of the abuse. I end up shifting the blame from one to the other. I got very tired of folks who blamed me when all I did was to tell the truth. BTW I made a you-tube right after I was released from Mount Auburn that seems to be attracting many hits. Usually I at least fix up my hair beforehand and work from notes. But that one is done entirely ad lib and I look a wreck. Google patient abuse at Mount Auburn Hospital and you will find it.
Also, I am starting a literary magazine for survivors only. I am working on how to define “survivor” in this context, trying to keep it simple. Mostly, a person will be considered a survivor if he/she defines him/herself as such. Also, the term refers to survivor of psych dx. I do not recognize “mental illness” since to label human anguish and suffering belittles it. Suffering is temporary and psych diagnoses are permanently on a person’s record. A person might also identify as “survivor” if he/she has endured mental health imprisonment or mental health slavery. By all means, people of any occupation or field are welcome so long as they are survivors. I am now gathering people who are interested in being on the staff as editors or other roles such as working with social media, PR, or any legal or copyright issues. We will welcome many art forms such as literature (essays, poems, memoir, fiction, humor, etc), photos of artwork such as painting or sculpture, and also we can embed sound or link to video files, allowing music, film, spoken word, etc.
Your story is consistent and believable to me. I approached it with skepticism naturally since I am so fearful of anyone in the medical field after what i have been through, I found your story not only believable, but alarming. As I see it, the truth wins out and lies fall away. Only we must be patient, persistent, and vigilant.
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